We've spent a lot of time thinking about quitting. There was a time when we felt like anyone who started karate and didn't get a Black Belt had quit. I mean, they didn't win, right? They didn't make it. They quit. But there's more to it than that. And as we've spoken with students and parents, we realized that people don't really QUIT that often. They just lose interest and drift away. They didn't have success, and they didn't WIN , but did they really quit? We don't think so. We define quitting as stopping something before you have done what you said you would do. If you didn't really make a commitment, then you didn't really quit. But you didn't really have much chance of winning , either. ‘Stopping’ means that you did all you promised, met your goals, and then decided to move on to other activities. We may stop many things in our lives, but we should never quit anything. The key is to start whatever you do the right way. Set your expectations - what are you going to do, no matter what. Because you can't win unless you know what the win looks like. And when you start off by defining your win, you can actually win . Parents will tell us that their kids quit things. When they do that, we ask them if they started by sitting down and making sure that they both understand what the goals are and what success looks like. Often, we find that the child wanted to play a game or do an activity with friends and have fun - but the parents instantly saw Olympic Gold. They're scheduling camps and coaching and they can see, in their mind, their kid being the best player ever. But their child never had that goal. When he or she wants to stop, the parents feel like their child quit. The child feels bad, because Mom and/or Dad feel bad, and they may internalize the message that they quit. But they really didn't. But what if you could have both? What if the child could have fun, but we could help them make commitments and set goals that are challenging, but achievable. These could be long-term goals - like black belt - or short term goals - like get the next belt. Let's go back to that child who wants to play a game, make her a girl, and make it soccer. She wants to play because her friends play soccer. We can accept that - but we can sit down and add a few goals, and make a deal - you can do what you want, if you agree to do a few things. What if the child committed to going to all the games and practices, to finish the season, and to practice a certain amount? If she did that, she would have succeeded. She would have won! We've set clear goals and expectations, and a win is possible because we now know what a win looks like. And if the parents have clear expectations, they can be feel happy that their child finished what she started, accomplished her goals, and finished with a win - even if she decided, at the end of the season, not to continue. Because at that point, she's stopping, not quitting. And now, it's all about what the next goal is. Connect a few wins together, and you start to build habits that lead to success in all areas of your life. A successful conclusion to any activity starts with setting clear goals, managing expectations, and making sure that everyone involved buys into those goals and accepts them.